Thursday, November 26, 2009

Puppy Love

0 comments Posted by pinkishdesire at 6:36 AM


I remember when the day i met you online as i was awed by your facial expression. Your face reminds me of a popular movie and television star who, despite not having the lean and model-like body, was gifted with an oozing sex appeal. Imagine someone like that appearing by the "single and available"section. Imagine someone like that answering every message and humbly shy away after complements. I remember.

After months of continuously bothering sending you messages, viewing your pictures and conversing through mobile, i felt fondness. I am sure someone so uniquely situated into chatting with someone without a webcam and mic amidst splash of technological advancement has doubts. I think i will have doubts being placed to that situation.

There are ups and downs and many times my profile was deleted in the friend's list. yet many times you came back apologizing. My fondness intensifies. Then i remember having this feeling decades back. It brings memories when youth offers a glimpse of infatuation and emotional longing-ness. I experienced this times in the past! this is puppy love!

I experienced years ago to wait for the night to talk to you. i experienced the tingling reaction when you say good night and hello on any telecommunication platform. I still get high on the attention you have given me. And i am hurting if we end up fighting on petty things or when there are nights you never go online. I remember this. I experienced this.

Now, i am within the grasp of "puppy falling" again. But i ask myself: Will the experience and countless exposure to possible relationship applies for me to cut this momentary online encounter or to shove away all standards and accept the fact that pupply love, like many things in love, is sweeter the second (or how many) time around?

Iam still undecided. Are you?

 

Thursday, November 19, 2009

THROBBING: TAUNTING

0 comments Posted by pinkishdesire at 3:33 PM


I fought the urge as I saw him pleasuring himself. I did nothing and I knew that he knew I was standing there watching him. He continuously taunts me with hopeless satisfaction and teases me with forbidden pleasure. Yet I stood there still --- I did nothing because I cannot do anything.

Ours is an unconventional set-up. After splitting up years ago, we remain to live on the same roof. Maybe it is for convenience, or maybe we are both lazy to move and transfer things to another house, or maybe we still cling for gratifying support. Would I fault “us” if we think this is a practical “status quo”? Would I criticize the fact that the relationship has ceased and the act of satisfying carnal needs remain?

I was advised that it was not healthy emotional-wise. And I agree. Yet I did nothing. Why is it that my throbbing need to experience sexual bliss weighed more than moving forward? Why is it that I continuously seek his ability to fill my urges yet I know that he will not do so in the not-so-distant future? What am I afraid of? Or were the years of maintaining a relationship enough to give one’s self the excuse to cling and move on when it is convenient?

I saw him pleasuring himself. As his hand raised and lowered on a rhythm of physiological motion, I saw in his eyes the need to release his earthly passion and desire. And with one nod towards me, he challenges my will to be strong and took a step to stop our sexual rendezvous. With his eyes half-closed, right hand on his shaft and the other playing with his nipples, he caused an invitation to join him even if it is until the last drop. His smile caused by arousal, his gestures caused by sensation. He tempt me to join him…

And I did… again.

 

Monday, November 9, 2009

PINK: FANTASIES

0 comments Posted by pinkishdesire at 6:15 PM


Entering puberty, i was exposed to what is now called "the call of the flesh". it may not be a loud-sounding call then --- maybe a whisper but remains so tempting and invigorating that there is no choice but to give in. It will start as an act of curiosity, then a mechanical act, then actions with inputs of the naughtiness and creativity of the sensual mind.

my sexual fantasy, what is it?

As an teenager i would love to meet my idol on television. I am too meek and "good" to entertain thoughts leading to bed and positions thereafter. When i finally plunged into practice as a result of responding to sexual awakening and satisfying sexual awareness, the fantasy goes deeper. This time the arousal is not limited to the visual but the sensation accompanying what the eyes can see. I was satisfied before to mere observations --- the watcher. Now i intend to be participative, to be bolder and more experimental.

Who would not have sexual fantasies with a professor in college? A sportsman? a matinee idol or even a wrestling superstar. Who would not fantasize over muscles, curves and bulges? Who would not waste sexual liquidities to the thought of fondling, caressing and the act of copulation? These are the times when we become vulnerable to the call of the flesh. And with experience and right judgment, we still give in. Who would not let go of pretensions when sexual fantasy is formed, or better, fulfilled?

Now, fantasies are hiding on the neurons behind sensous brain cells. Maybe because most of the fantasies are already fulfilled. maybe because the fantasies are actual "past" activities undertaken. For instance, does a sensuous massage or soaping one another on the shower still a fantasy? Does making out in front of a mirror (or a videocam) exciting still? Will pleasure derived from BDSM appealing to everyone? If there will be fantasies to talk about, i have to say, it must be powerful enough to produce a tingling sensation and realistic enough to have them fulfuilled... right this very moment perhaps? :)

thank you nightcharm.com for the picture

 

Friday, November 6, 2009

THROBBING: HELP!!!

0 comments Posted by pinkishdesire at 5:43 PM



I have been in an abusive relationship for five years now.

We started out as the "ideal" couple with dreams to achieve and talents to achieve that dream. It is as if the world stopped and started creating our story. Day by day, love, laughter and lust intensifies. We no longer live as separate persons, but in unison with the Universe's exemplification of relationship bliss.

Our monthly celebration turns 12, then 24 and so on. We both experienced what "happy anniversary" is. We go to to fine dining, prepare for special gifts and spend long weekends together. Year after year, we lived normally as perfect partners. Perfect because despite what the day poses as challenge, we still wake up together by each others side and lay together at night.

Then, one day, i woke up being alone in the relationship. At first my reaction was that of dismissing the idea that it is OVER. I treat the day normally but cry at night and let sobs put me to sleep. The thing that complicate things is that we stay together as "friends" --- living together and satisfying each others carnal needs. Or maybe because of convenience and necessity of the flesh that we remain sleeping on the same bed.

But, I was not prepared for the worst. Soon, I was treated like a burden, a trash, a dirty piece. I was humiliated and scorned that "no other person alive will accept me unless i submit my will". Most of the times i am being pushed away. I am hurt, i am abused. The abuse will not happen physically but leads to moral and emotional complications. It goes to pierce my core. I cannot do anything. I am imbalanced. I am helpless.

For now, I need help. I need some saving...

 

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