pink and throbbing

I have been in an abusive relationship for five years now.

We started out as the "ideal" couple with dreams to achieve and talents to achieve that dream. It is as if the world stopped and started creating our story. Day by day, love, laughter and lust intensifies. We no longer live as separate persons, but in unison with the Universe's exemplification of relationship bliss.

Our monthly celebration turns 12, then 24 and so on. We both experienced what "happy anniversary" is. We go to to fine dining, prepare for special gifts and spend long weekends together. Year after year, we lived normally as perfect partners. Perfect because despite what the day poses as challenge, we still wake up together by each others side and lay together at night.

Then, one day, i woke up being alone in the relationship. At first my reaction was that of dismissing the idea that it is OVER. I treat the day normally but cry at night and let sobs put me to sleep. The thing that complicate things is that we stay together as "friends" --- living together and satisfying each others carnal needs. Or maybe because of convenience and necessity of the flesh that we remain sleeping on the same bed.

But, I was not prepared for the worst. Soon, I was treated like a burden, a trash, a dirty piece. I was humiliated and scorned that "no other person alive will accept me unless i submit my will". Most of the times i am being pushed away. I am hurt, i am abused. The abuse will not happen physically but leads to moral and emotional complications. It goes to pierce my core. I cannot do anything. I am imbalanced. I am helpless.

For now, I need help. I need some saving...